You’ll want to cry foul *slapknee*

Best told to a group of 8- to 12-year-old boys.

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This here is wisdom, Californians:

Q. Why do ducks have flat feet?
A. To stomp out forest fires.

Q. Why do elephants have flat feet?
A. To stomp out burning ducks.

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With apologies to the Warcraftians in the audience:

A duck walks into a drug store and says, “Give me some chap-stick, and put it on my bill.”

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A duck walks into a office supply store and asks a clerk, “Excuse me. Do you have any grapes?” The woman looks at the duck and says, “Of course not.” The duck says, “OK, thank you,” and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns the the store. Again he asks the clerk, “Excuse me. Do you have any grapes?” She grumbles, “I told you yesterday, no grapes.” The duck says, “OK, thank you,” and leaves.

The duck continues this trend for a few more days until the clerk explodes in a fit of anger. “Listen, buddy! We didn’t have grapes yesterday. We don’t have grapes today. We will never. Have. Grapes! If you ever ask me if we have grapes again, I’ll nail your feet to the floor and your beak to the wall, and we’ll see how much you like that!” The duck says, “OK, thank you,” and leaves.

The clerk is relieved but wary when the duck doesn’t come the next day. The day after that, she starts to relax. And by the third day, she’d almost forgotten about the silly bird. The fourth day, though, the duck walks in, and the clerk’s blood starts to boil. “Excuse me,” the duck says. “Do you have any nails?” The clerk is immediately puzzled. “What? No, why?” she asks. “Great,” says the duck. “Do you have any grapes?”